I wanted to break it to her easy, so I had Jade’s master chef prepare a quiet dinner for us, and had my housekeeper decorate the dining nook with candles and low lights. Nysha and I had been on the outs for a few weeks, and there was no point in dragging it out. I was already wondering if she had found another man; someone who wanted to be with her in the ways I no longer wanted to be. Truth be told, I didn’t care. I wanted her to be happy, but she wouldn’t be if she stayed with me.
|Dinner for Nysha|
She sat down and tossed her hair out of her face. “I’d much rather you cut the crap and get straight to the real, Orion.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That you’re dumping me.”
“I’m not dumping you. I made a decision, and you don’t like my decision.”
“Orion, I’m sorry I said that. Give me a chance. I’m sure I could learn to like your kid.”
“You already showed your hand, Nysha. No point in trying to renege.”
“Orion, I love you. I don’t want this. You haven’t touched me in weeks!”
“How can I? You hate my son; a child you’ve never met. So, by default, you hate me. I can’t be with a woman who hates me.”
“Please, O! We can work this out! Give me a chance; let me meet the kid.”
“No,” I said. “I told you, your first words on the subject represented your true feelings. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. Let’s just go ahead and call this what it is: the end. I’m sure you’ll have another sugar daddy within a week, if you don’t already.”
“Have I presumed too much?”
“Do you love me at all?”
“I care about you, Ny, but I never loved you.”
She wiped her eye. “So this is it?”
|Nysha doesn't want to lose her man|
“Yes,” I said. “My son will have his first visit this weekend, so I need your stuff out by Thursday night. I’ve made arrangements for you to stay in the Rampart for two months so you can get on your feet. Rent and utilities paid.”
“How magnanimous. This isn’t about the kid, is it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“This thing. It’s not about your son. It’s about his mother. You want her, don’t you?”
“Nysha, that has nothing to do with anything. We can’t stay together because you don’t want my son around. His mother has nothing to do with this.”
“You’re such a liar, Orion. You haven’t been able to get it up for me in weeks, and you do not suffer from erectile dysfunction! You’re fucking her, because you certainly aren’t fucking me!”
“Nysha, she is engaged to another man. I told you. I’m not sleeping with my son’s mother.” I would if I could, that much I was certain of.
“So, what’s wrong with you? There was a time, not long ago, when you would nail me to the wall if I so much as crooked my little finger in your direction! Now I can shove my pussy in your face and your dick won’t even twitch! Explain that!”
“I can’t. I just haven’t felt like having sex.”
“Don’t treat me like an idiot, Orion. I deserve the truth. You want to fuck her, don’t you? If you haven’t yet, you want to! What, does she have a platinum pussy or something? Because I assure you, it cannot be as good as this!” She pointed between her legs. “Tell me the truth, Orion. Are you sleeping with her?”
I looked Nysha dead in the eyes. “No.”
“Fucking liar,” she said. “I’ll come back for my shit!” She got up and stormed out. I sighed and started eating my dinner of lobster tail and grilled vegetables. That afternoon in my apartment, Phaedra and I had kissed like it was six years ago and we were never separated. I pushed her against the wall and my hands were all over her. She held on to me; our bodies were crushed together and I felt the pebbling of her nipples and I know she felt my rock-hard dick. I hooked my arms around her legs and lifted her, pushing her dress above her hips. I caressed her thighs and grabbed her ass while we kissed, and I once again implored her to tell me to stop…stop…stop…and she didn’t, so I licked two of my fingers and slipped them inside her panties. The minute I touched her vagina, her eyes snapped open and she stopped kissing me.
|Love of his life|
“What?” I said, horny beyond belief. “What? You always let me play with your pussy when we kiss like this!”
“No,” she said, turning away and smoothing her dress. “It was a mistake. I let it go too far. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean for that to happen, O. I need you to take me back to my car so I can go home to my man and my kid.”
I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. Two more seconds and I would have had her clit in my mouth and sucked both her and myself into a blissful orgasm. “All right. You can use the hall bathroom and straighten yourself up.”
She nodded and nearly ran into the bathroom. I went into my bedroom and closed the door. I couldn’t help it; I grabbed Nysha’s baby oil and masturbated to climax. Then I cleaned myself up and met her in the hallway. She was staring at me.
“I apologize, Orion. I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry that I let it go that far. I’m not a tease. I love CJ. I do. I love him and I’m going to marry him. I just lost my head for a moment.”
“You almost lost your clothes,” I replied. “Don’t tell me that it didn’t feel good; us kissing like that. And don’t tell me that you don’t want more.”
“I won’t,” she said. “Let’s forget it happened. Come on, let’s go.”
|I would have given it up.|
“You’re crazy. I can’t forget that kiss, and all I want is to kiss you again. CJ doesn’t do it like me, does he? I bet…I bet that he doesn’t do everything you want him to; you have to settle in some regard, don’t you? Come here, Phaedra. Come to me and let this thing play out.”
“No,” she said. “I admit that I lost my head. I admit that I still find you appealing. But it doesn’t mean anything, Orion. We were always sexually compatible; too much so. However, I am in love with CJ and I won’t do that to him.”
“One day you will, and we both know it. I’m crazy about you,” I said. “I’m going to make it hard for you, Phaedra. You know that you belong with me.”
“You’re being an arrogant asshole, Orion. I’ll forget that you said those words and please, take me back to my car.”
I put my coat on and drove her back to her job. The next time we got anywhere close to kissing, she would be mine and CJ would never get her back.
Orion Jr. loved his room. He was ecstatic over all of his new toys and video games and books. Phaedra watched him run around laughing and shouting out the names of things he was most impressed with. I stood next to her, thinking about how much I liked having a family, and how much I wanted us to be together.
“Daddy, this stuff is so cool! Are we gonna play video games tonight?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Whatever you want.”
“Don’t let him stay up past nine, Orion.”
“Make sure he brushes his teeth.”
“He forgets to wash behind his ears and floss his teeth. You have to watch him. He also forgets to apply lotion, and I don’t want him ashy.”
“Phaedra, I’ll take care of our son. I’ve been paying attention.”
Orion Jr. settled in front of his new flat-screen, watching The Backyardigans. “Can we have pizza for dinner?”
“Sure can,” I said.
Phaedra rolled her eyes. “Baby, are you going to be okay?”
“I’m fine, Mommy.”
“You let him call me whenever he wants to, Orion.”
“Can I get a hug and kiss, Taz?”
|Mommy good-bye kiss|
He got up and ran towards her, a grin splitting his face. Orion crashed into Phaedra and hugged her. “Love you Mommy. I’ll be ok.” She bent over and he kissed her cheek. I checked out her ass again; it was practically second nature. I was so hard up; it had been weeks since I last had sex. I was practically living with blue balls and was a veritable monster to work for. Sadao wanted to introduce me to a couple of his jump-offs just so I could blow off some lust, but Phaedra was the only one who was going to be the recipient of my barely-restrained passion. I had no desire for any other woman but her, and Sadao teased me about being pussywhipped over pussy I hadn’t had in almost seven years.
“Bye sweetie. I’ll see you on Sunday, all right?”
“Okay.” He then skipped back to the bed and flopped on it, focusing on the TV.
Phaedra gave me a quick smile and then left the room. I followed her.
“I’m not used to leaving him, Orion. You’d better make sure he’s okay. You let him call me anytime he wants to. Don’t let him eat a lot of junk, make sure he washes his face, and don’t forget to turn on the night light—”
“Phaedra,” I said, taking her by the arm. “I got it. Remember, I know his nighttime routine. It’s been six months. I know what to do. He’s going to be fine.”
She moved her arm and stepped away from me. Since that day in my apartment, she had been very careful not to be alone with me. She always made sure our son was in the room with us, and if he was available, CJ. I noticed that the tension between her and CJ had dissipated and he seemed a lot more relaxed around me now.
“Phaedra, it’s okay. But we need to talk about it, don’t you think?” We both knew what “it” was.
“It’s not okay, Orion. And I gave you my final words on the subject that day.”
“Do you really think that it’s over between us?”
She shouldered her bag and buttoned her coat. “It is. I love CJ. We are working out our problems and we’re getting married in a few weeks. It was wrong of me to kiss you like that. It was wrong of me to let you get a hand under my skirt. I got caught up; lost my mind a little bit. But it won’t happen again. I’m not going to cheat on my fiancé.
“Phaedra, you didn’t cheat. We didn’t get that far, remember?”
“And we won’t.” She swallowed and looked away. “I’ve got to go. I’ll pick him up on Sunday afternoon.”
“No, I’ll bring him home. He’s going to be fine, Phaedra. Thank you for letting him stay with me.”
She looked at me. “Don’t fuck this up.”
“I won’t,” I said. “What are your plans for the weekend?”
Phaedra looked down and her lips turned up in a small smile. “Do you really want to know?”
“Well, since I have a babysitter for the weekend, I’m going to have a romantic weekend with my future husband. Things have been tense between us, and I’m hoping that some good quality time and even better sex will help to set things right. I’m going to feed him, seduce him and fuck him. Is that okay with you, Orion?” she teased.
It startled me and I coughed. “No.” I was irritated and my dick hurt. “I don’t want to hear about you doing that to another man.”
“Tough. Please have my child home by 4:00.” She turned and walked out, leaving me standing in the middle of the room.
Orion Jr. wanted to draw pictures on the floor with his new art set. I sat with him, watching the playoffs, eating popcorn and riffling his hair. He asked me if I would get a Mohawk and that was the one time I had to deny my kid. We sat in relative silence and I was enjoying just being with my son, when he said, “Why doesn’t CJ like you, Daddy?”
I shrugged. “We don’t really know each other.”
I shrugged. “We don’t really know each other.”
“I hear him and Mommy fight about you.”
“He says she acts different when you’re around.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. CJ thinks that Mommy loves you.”
“Naah,” I said. “Mommy loves CJ. She’s going to marry him.”
“Marry is when two people decide they want to be together forever, and they wear rings and live in the same house.”
Orion Jr. was busy drawing what looked like Phaedra. “I like CJ,” he said. “He’s funny and he practices taekwondo with me. He likes kissing and touching Mommy. He makes Mommy laugh. But you’re my Daddy. Mommies and Daddies should live in the same house.” The kid was matter-of-fact.
I looked at my son. He’d seen Phaedra making out with CJ? “Does Mommy know you saw her kissing CJ? What do you know about kissing?”
|Father and son|
He grinned at me. “Alexa at school likes to kiss me on the cheek. But CJ doesn’t kiss Mommy on the cheek. And no, Mommy doesn’t know. She thinks I’m in my room. But sometimes when I have to go to the bathroom, I see them kissing on the couch.” Orion Jr. continued to draw as if it didn’t bother him. “Sometimes he has his hands under her shirt.”
“Okay,” I said, my voice a little shrill. “You’re spying on Mommy when you’re supposed to be asleep, little man. Don’t do that. It’s not nice.”
“I didn’t mean to, Daddy. I have to pee sometimes.”
“I understand. Don’t tell Mommy that you saw her kissing CJ. And certainly don’t tell her you saw CJ’s hands under her shirt. Mommy would not like that.” I didn’t like it.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Do you kiss Mommy too?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“Well, because you’re my Daddy. Daddies kiss Mommies all the time.”
“Where did you get that from?”
“From the kids at school and on TV. Sometimes I sit with Mommy when she watches television. I read books and color, and I see Mommies and Daddies kiss on the TV.”
He was a smart little cookie; I had to give him that. “Mommy loves CJ, so Mommy kisses CJ. Now, let’s change the subject. What are you drawing?”
“Mommy. I’m going to draw me and you too.”
“Are you going to draw CJ?”
“Why not? I thought you liked CJ.”
“I do. But he’s not my Daddy.”
I stroked his hair. I was not about to argue with my son.