Discipline (8/12)

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“I Miss You”  Monifah
"Tom Ford" (Instrumental) Jay-Z 

“Say Yes”  Floetry
“Right Now”  Al B. Sure

“Sweet Love”  Anita Baker

“Don’t Go”  En Vogue
“All the Man that I Need”  Whitney Houston

For whatever reason, life kept us apart for a little over a week.  I was very busy, and

I’m sure he was too.  But I have to be honest: I missed him.  I missed his kisses, missed his tenderness, missed the ease of our relationship.  I’m sure you’re wondering how it happened, and all I can say is that it just did.  One day, we ran into each other in the hallway, got to talking and it was all just very...easy...after that.  I’d invite him over for a drink; he’d do the same.  Then one day, our fingers touched and he held my hand and my gaze.  Our fingers linked and we weren’t able to let go.  We stared at each other, watching this thing knit itself together from a distance, as if it were independent of our conscious minds.  He wanted to touch me and I him, and it grew from there.  I can’t really explain our connection. I just know we have one.  I’ve never had anything like this before, ever.  I wondered if he felt the same.

It’s been a while since I actually took a bath alone; it had become “our” thing once our relationship changed.  When I was at his place, we took showers...long, satisfying ones.  Either way, we stared at each other a lot; recognizing a need, a longing, in one another.  Tacit permission to do certain things was given via facial expressions, and we both realized how very easy we were to read.  I remember the first time we took a bath together; he was on my couch, drinking a beer and massaging my feet when I abruptly got up and grabbed his hand.  He followed me to my bathroom and I recall looking at him, the question in my eyes, words on my tongue.  He looked around the room and then back at me before unbuckling his jeans and removing his shirt.  I ran a bath, we got in, and he let me bathe him. Then, after sitting across from him in the tub, I watched him masturbate.  It was surreal, because he didn’t look at any part of me other than my eyes as he got himself off.  I held eye contact, finding it exhilarating that he needed nothing more than that to come.  After that, I did it for him.  He tried to put his hand between my legs and I shook my head and told him I didn’t require it.  He didn’t push the issue and I was glad.

I missed him.  I didn’t know what kept him away, but I assumed it was work-related.  It was the safest assumption I could make, as I knew nothing about him. But I had my work to keep me occupied.  Kelton was indeed, good at what he did. Follow-ups were positive and I was pleased.  I wanted to keep him; if his work continued to be stellar, I would seriously consider keeping him on.  But I knew better.  I believed him when he said he’d quit if I didn’t fire him.  I believed him when he said he wanted more and he’d do what he had to do.

That led me to thinking about our awesome date in the Hamptons.  I wasn’t used to such splendor and decadence.  I wasn’t used to being pampered or attended to in such a way.  And then there was the complete disassociation from his work persona.  With the exception of that devilish smile, he was the epitome of professional.  But away from the office, he was warm, funny, and sexy as hell.   His eyes seemed to drink me in, as if he couldn’t get enough of looking at me.  I knew he wanted another date and I was sorely considering giving him one.  I appreciated his consideration of taking us so far out the first time to avoid any potential work-related eyes.  But I had to be smart.  I had to be smart.

When he dropped me off in front of the office later that night, he was frustrated because I wouldn’t let him take me home, nor would I allow him to know what kind of car I drove.  I covered his hand with mine and pleaded with him to let it be.

“I should make sure you get home safely, Iolanthe.  It’s the proper thing to do.”

“And I appreciate it.  But this is fine, Kelton.  Really, it is.  I’ll be okay.”

“If something should happen to you…”

I leaned over and kissed his cheek, which surprised him.  “I promise that I will be fine.  Please don’t worry.  If you find yourself doing so, recall that I did warn you that I’m not easy.  You can back away at any time and I won’t be insulted.”

“If you insist.”

“Not only do I insist, I require your acceptance of my decisions.”

He nodded.  “At least allow me to watch you enter the building.”

“That’s perfectly acceptable,” I said, and bade him a good night.

I admit, Kelton gave me a lot to think about.  Our date was fantastic, relaxing, and fun.  I let myself go in a way I haven’t done in years, and it was just nice being with a man again like that.  I frowned as I realized I wouldn’t be able to leave our date where it ended Saturday night.

And then everything got really busy at work, which I honestly favored.  Losing myself in my job was the manner in which I preferred to deal with things.  It also allowed me to think on a very deep level about non-work related things, like him.  My desire for him was overwhelming.  Could I let him go?  Could I keep him and date Kelton?  Could I have it both ways?  Was it even realistic that we could continue like we have been, especially now that we’d crossed the kiss line?

Who was I kidding?  He assumed I had a man, but I know he knew better.  The sly comments he made at times were indicative that he was aware of my single state.  I did not make the same assumption about him, because some men are masters at compartmentalization.  If he did have a woman, I wondered how intimate they were? He doesn’t fake it with me.  What was their relationship like?  Did he ever bring her home?  We leave our doors unlocked just so the other can have access…and while that’s dangerous, it’s never caused us any problems.  Just like I keep certain shampoos and soaps for his use, he keeps certain things for me in his bathroom, and I’ve never seen him hide them.  Things are so beautifully uncomplicated between us.

If I wanted to keep him in my life, would I have to get rid of all the boundaries?  Could we have more, be more?  Would he want that?  Would it be easy for him to walk away from me?  Would he want to give me up?  Should we talk about this?  I didn’t want to.  I wanted things to stay as they were.  Why did Kelton have to come work for my firm and cause me all this internal stress? 

Shit.

*

I was home, sitting on my floor, reviewing notes for upcoming evaluations for potential junior partners.  It was a warm, steamy Friday evening and I sat with a glass of wine, reading and thinking, wondering when he would come home.  A week was a long time when I saw him almost every day.  I wondered if it was how he felt when I had to be away.  I closed my eyes and focused on my work instead of him.

Some time passed; I’d become engrossed in my reading when I heard the unmistakable sounds of a door closing.  I wanted to jump up and go over immediately, but I knew better.  If he just got home, he was going to be tired and wanted to rest.  He probably wanted to shower and go straight to sleep.  I would only get in the way.

Five minutes later, I was walking next door, holding a glass of wine.  His door was cracked open, no more than two inches and I smiled.  So much for that theory.  I pushed it open and walked inside, closing it behind me.  His luggage was in the living room; five pieces and I wondered where he was coming from.  The remote to his stereo system was on the table and I picked it up and turned on the music.  I was curious as to what he’d been listening to before he left. 

Floetry’s “Say Yes.”  I walked deeper into the apartment, winding slowly to the left, where his bedroom was.  I stopped in my tracks, holding my glass with trembling fingers.

He was wearing a suit.  I’d never ever seen him in a suit.  Not ever.  Not. Ever.  And it was Tom Ford, my favorite.  He looked fucking sinful, like a treat from the Devil’s candy jar.  Lord have sweet mercy on my lusty soul.

 “Oh my,” I said, and brought my shaky glass to my lips.

See I been watching you for a while, your smile and stuff, but I don’t know if I can be with you for the night…

He stared at me.  The desire in his eyes was unmistakable.  He looked me over slowly and licked his lips.  Of course there was a toothpick tucked in the corner.  I wondered how I looked to him; my hair was disheveled and I wore a short, silk dress with a knit shrug.  Not that it ever mattered to him if I looked a mess.  He never complained, even though I know he’s seen me look like shit.  It was yet another thing I liked about our connection.

He tilted his head to one side and smiled at me, twirling the toothpick.  I walked towards him, smiling in return and handed him the wine.  He drank some and held the glass as I put my hands on his chest.  Jesus, he looked good and smelled even better.  I couldn’t place the scent, but oh…it worked on him.  Devil’s candy; that’s exactly what he was.

You have made that a possibility…we can take that step to see…if this is really gonna be…

Our eyes met; blinding, smoldering heat were in his and I wondered what he saw in mine.  He put the glass down on the dresser and licked his lips again.  “Take off my clothes.”

I blinked demurely and slid my hands over his chest, pushing the jacket off his shoulders.  He let it fall to the floor and I took a deep breath and began unbuttoning his shirt, aware that his eyes were on me the whole time.  He felt so good.

All you gotta do is say yes…don’t deny what you feel…let me undress you baby…

Seemed like his music was just as potent as mine.

I pulled his shirt out of his trousers and pushed it over his shoulders before grabbing the cuffs to pull it off his arms.  He wore a T-shirt and I smiled at him as he rolled the toothpick to the other side of his mouth.  Tenderly, I moved my fingers over his silver chain, loving how it looked against the stark white of the T-shirt.  I moved my hands to his pants and began unbuttoning his belt, my eyes never leaving his.  I pulled it out of the loops and tossed it off to the side.  Then I unzipped and worked the T-shirt up his beautiful chest and over his head.  I looked into his eyes again.  I was so horny for him.

“Go on,” he encouraged, twirling the toothpick as he gently pushed my shrug off my shoulders.  “See it through.”

I took a deep breath and slipped my fingers in the waistband of both trousers and briefs and slipped them over his hips and ass.  I squatted as I pulled them down and let it all drop around his ankles.  Then I stood up and picked up my glass of wine.  I took a drink and backed away, avoiding looking at his erection.

Open up your mind just rest…I’m about to let you know…you make me so…

For every step back I took, he took a step forward, pausing long enough to come out of his socks and shoes, and then he was as naked as the day he was born, but a whole lot damn finer.  The back of my legs bumped his bed and I abruptly sat down, not expecting it.  He came towards me and I couldn’t avoid the candy staring me plain in the face.  I bit my lip as I thought about the last time I pleasured a man in this way, and then smiled when I recalled our last conversation.

“You want it?” he asked, looking down at me.  His fingers brushed the side of my mouth and he took the wineglass from me.

I met his gaze.  The other day, he said that he was thirsty.  I understood it now.  I understood it completely.  We never lied to each other.  “Yes.”  My mouth started to water.  I was a horny thing and briefly I wondered how far this was going to go.

“Take it.  It’s yours, girl.  Brought it home just for you.”

Seconds later, his hands were in my hair, fingers tensing around my vibrant curls.  I tried not to be greedy, but I just…couldn’t…help…myself…My hand was on his hip, the other moving over his chest, and to his credit, he remained perfectly still, but the sounds he was making…oh, they did nothing but turn me all the way on.  My nipples were tight, my pussy was wet and my blood was up.  I caressed his sac and gobbled him as if I’d been starving to death.  He took the hand that moved back and forth over his pecs and sucked the fingertips, kissed the knuckles, and licked the palm.  He was so hard and it was so good; he felt marvelous in my mouth.  It’s been a long time since I gave a blowjob, but it’s not something I forgot how to do.  I knew at that moment, I wouldn’t be able to keep neither my hands nor my mouth off his dick, and he knew it too.

“Shit, girl…” he moaned, his hands cupping the back of my head.  “Fuck…”

  

When he was ready to come, I pulled back and raised my boobs to give him a soft landing spot.  A little of his semen landed on my bottom lip anyway, but that was okay.  I wiped my lips with the back of my hand and stared at him while drinking the last of the wine.  I heard one of my favorite college slow jams emanating from his top-shelf speakers.

You’re feelin’ kinda right…right now, baby…

Oh yes.  “Check,” I said.  “Your move.”

He didn’t miss a beat.  Both hands came down on the bed; he planted a knee between my thighs and crawled over me.  I guess I shouldn’t have been so saucy just then, because he planted that good, warm hard weight directly on top of me and kissed me.  His hands found my wrists, pressed them in the bed, captured my hands, and linked my fingers with his own.  And he kissed me.  And kissed me, and kissed me.  His crucifix tickled my throat and my hips moved of their own accord, and due to the friction between us, my already short dress rode up.  He stopped kissing me and looked down.  I didn’t say anything.  Then he adjusted so that he lay behind me, and I was simultaneously on my back and my side.  He slid an arm under my head and stared at me as he lifted my leg and put it over his.  Without breaking eye contact, he inserted two middle fingers first into his mouth and then between my legs.  I inhaled sharply, because other than my own, no other fingers have been that way for years.  There are always sacrifices when you want certain things.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and my mouth was open, and then he pinched my clit and sweet pain, and then he changed the position of his hand, put one blunt thumb on the bunny and the two fingers inside me.  He pulsed slowly…slowly…s l o w l y…s  l  o  w  l  y…ah, my God…s   l   o   w   l   y….

It takes a gifted man to release all the love in me, so far you’re the only man…

“You’re tight as hell, baby,” he murmured, looking at me.  “This the secret you’ve been trying to keep from me?”

“Shut up,” I moaned, closing my eyes.

“You feel so fuckin’ good,” he moaned, and then he was kissing me again.  I didn’t know what to do with my hand and I think he knew it, because he let up long enough to say, “Put your hand on mine; let’s do this together…”

It didn’t take long.  I came all over his hand.  Before I had time to calm down from that experience, he moved again, changing positions so fast that I couldn’t comprehend anything until I felt those lips, those marvelous lips, covering the ones that weren’t on my face.  And I was lost.  When I neared my peak, I tried to move away, but he used that strength to keep me in place.  Like that, he made me come again, and again, and again…each time harder than the last.  When I was able to see without stars in my eyes, he was looking down at me, with his beautiful lips and the lower part of his face glistening.  Sexy motherfucker...


His voice was a husky drawl.  "Girl, you squirt like no woman I've ever been with. That shit is so fucking sexy to me.  I'll fight your man for rights to it."  He had the nerve to grin at me and lick his lips.  I was exhausted and trembling, unable to form a coherent though, mouth dryer than the Sahara, when he put something wet against my lips.

“Drink,” he said.  It was water.  I held my head up enough to knock back a couple of swallows and then let my head fall back against the pillow.  He drank the rest of it and tossed the empty bottle behind his head.  Then he spooned behind me and looked at me.  I didn’t know what or how to feel other than exhausted.  Wasn’t this the reason why I came over?

“Hmm,” he said.  “Imagine that.”  He ran his finger under my eye and it came back damp.

“Don’t be a dick,” I said, wanting to roll myself up in the covers like a burrito.

He ran a thumb over my lips.  “You’re so damn sexy.  You can’t possibly have a man, right?  Do you?  I have to ask, even if you don’t answer.  I know what I just experienced…and clearly, he ain’t doing his fuckin’ job. You need to fire his ass.”

Then I knew I had to leave.  “No personals, remember?”

He must have felt my tension and tenderly kissed my lips.  I blinked a couple of times in rapid succession; my flavor was tangy.  “It’s all right; you don’t have to answer.  I just have to say it.  If there is someone in your life, then he’s a motherfuckin’ fool.  ‘Cause I’m not about to stop doing this with you.  Hell no.  He can pick up my slack, but promise you I'm not leaving any.”

I smiled at him.  “I don’t want to give this up, either.”  Then realizing where the conversation was turning, I abruptly sat up too fast and my head swam.  I took a deep breath to get my head right and stood up.  As I pulled my dress down, I realized that my poor breasts didn’t get any attention.  I rubbed them and smiled again.  “They didn’t get to come out to play.”

He looked at me.  “Get back in bed and I’ll rectify that.  Where are you going?”

I started walking away.  “I need to go.”

“Don’t go,” he said.

“I have to,” I said.  “Tempus fugit.”  I bent over to pick up my shrug and put it on.

“I love your ass,” he said.  “Get back in bed and let me worship it.  Don’t go.”

“I have to go to work in the morning,” I said.

“So do I.”

“Come on,” I said, backing away.  “You just successfully renegotiated our contract.  Don’t push it.”

“I want you,” he said.  “Fuck that contract.  I want to make love to you.”

“See, this is why I didn’t want us to kiss.  Kissing’s personal and it makes you want more…”

“Please,” he said, moving off the bed.  “Don't run from me.  You were all I could think about on the plane.  I couldn't wait to get home to you.”

“I’ll see you later,” I said, swallowing hard at his words.  I turned and walked away as fast as I could.  I had to leave.  The tension in the room was different, as was the look in his eyes and the pressure in my chest.  He wanted to make love, and that was the one thing I didn’t want to hear.  

Was I afraid of this man?  You bet your ass I was.  I had to run.

I made it back to my apartment and got as far as the foyer when I heard my door open.  He stood in the doorway, butt naked, all tatted and crucified glory, looking luscious in the light.  He was hard.  The look in his eyes…there aren't words that will do justice to describe the way he looked at me.  And he didn’t have a toothpick between his lips.  Clearly, somewhere in the space of the past minute, shit got real for him.

“Wh—” was all I could manage before he was blessedly, blissfully, all over me.

tbc